starting to open up about my dark night… (& LESSONS it brought!)

Posted by | December 27, 2016 | Uncategorized | No Comments

“What’s WRONG?”
“What happened to you?”
“Why was 2016 so horrible?”

While I appreciate your concern about my proclamation that 2016 was the hardest f**kn’ year of my adult life, I want to be clear….

I am NOT a victim.
NOTHING is wrong.
Life didn’t DO anything to me.

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I am a believer that:

* Life is FOR me. (Not that it happens TO me.)
* I am 100% responsible for my reality. (So no pity-parties.)
* Business (and life) led through a spiritual lens brings illumination and meaning far beyond what appearances may be.

What does that mean?

I want to open up with you about my dark night. I’m ready to start talking about it at the next level.

More on that in a minute….

Because, while there are many sucky things about 2016, there is MUCH potential bursting to express.

I know you want 2017 to sizzle and shine with the BEST that life has to offer…

… and to do that, you need to ensure that you have honored what 2016 meant to you.

In “YOUR BEST YEAR YET“, I offer a framework for this to  happen for you…

An END OF THE YEAR INVENTORY.

Why bother?

Well, here’s one of the biggest reasons.

*** A lesson will repeat itself until it’s taught  you what you need to know. ***

Despite what some say, the Universe is not here to test you –or even torture you.

It IS here to support your growth.

You know how you find yourself repeating stories, patterns and experiences that you thought you gotten over or should be beyond?

I mean, you’re so evolved, right?

You’ve done the therapy.
And the spiritual work.
And the energy healing.
And the… list. Goes. On.

Heck, you TEACH this stuff.

I get it.

I’ve been there.

IN fact, let’s get back to my challenges this year.

I was blasted with lessons that I thought I have surpassed.
Silly me.

I mean, here I was with a highly successful business.

I’ve built the dream lifestyle. Multi-6 figures.

I work with phenomenal clients.

I lead retreats in beautiful places like Kauai.

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I really KNOW that I live a life that only a few percent of people are living on this planet!

I do NOT take that for granted. I am humbly grateful.

So here I am streaming along with this goodness as I entered 2016.

I was in Sedona with a private client leading a VIP day in January.

… and BAM! I was thrust into the heart of what I first thought was a cleanse.

I thought, “It’s Sedona! I’m just cleansing.”

I was nauseated and couldn’t eat.
My muscles kept shaking uncontrollably.
My heart was palpating fast.

And worst of all.

I was scared. Constantly.

Like not your usual fear. Like I thought I was going to die fear.

(Later I discovered from my Dr that something was triggered in nervous system and I was overcome by the chemistry of the  fight, fright or flight response.)

Hours turned into days.
Days turned into weeks.
Weeks turned into months.

Eh-hem.

WTF???!!

Get me out of this hell!

And HOW did I get here?

I’m not exaggerating. I dipped into a dimension of fear that was all-consuming.

Part of what was so hard about it is that I couldn’t put my finger on anything specific.

Not only that, my usual tools were NOT sufficient to make this go away.

I knew on some level that I was in a dark night, and that my arrival into a deeper acceptance was the only resolution to it.

Because the paradox of change is that when we accept things as they are, then change can occur.

Change can’t truly happen without coming to terms with what is. Otherwise, it’s just a surface level quick-fix kind of strategy.  And those ALWAYS fail in the long run.

This is where an inventory comes in.

There were things in my system that my soul wanted me to  examine and take stock of. And it made sure I did it by demanding my attention through my body!

Laying in bed hour after hour, day after day just left me alone with my thoughts and the intensity of emotion moving through me.

Here’s one of the lessons I received…

One of my top core values is freedom.

What I realized is that everything about what I was experiencing felt the OPPOSITE of freedom.

I felt out of control.
Helpless.
Useless.

I was grasping for freedom during these episodes.

OMG!

Add to that the shame that was staring me down for being a coach who helps women create “Freedom Lifestyle Businesses” … and I was toast!

It’s like my soul said, “Yes, I’ll take another order of the fraud syndrome, please. And let’s have an extra side of shame!”

Here’s what I got around this part of my dark night:

1) I am free only to the degree I am able to accept myself.

I’ve known this. I’ve practiced this. I teach this.

My soul knew there was a level of unconscious (shadow) needing to be cleansed. As it came up and out, I had to feel it to heal it. And healing came through love, understanding and acceptance. Deep acceptance.

(BONUS TIP: No amount of money will help you get this. I can help make more of it. Double it. Break 6-figures. Heck, 7-figures. BUT, what is unique about the way I coach money freedom is this deeper work.)

2) In order to genuinely serve my tribe, I must really understand the nature of what they grapple with.

The level of compassion I have developed surpasses any “marketing trend” and communicates a level of heart and presence that heals.

Again, I’ve known this. I practice it. I teach this. Yet something about this year took me to a whole new level. I am a better leader because of this dark night.

(Now, to be clear to the Universe, I do want to say — that in the future I am open to become a better leader and making improvements WITHOUT such challenging lessons! Hee hee.)

Ok, so that’s my share this round as I reveal more about 2016 and the lessons I’ve had.

Here’s a 2016 END OF YEAR INVENTORY declaration for you….

I AFFIRM: I acknowledge and celebrate the gifts of 2016.  I honor the strengths and the risks I took that facilitated my growth and manifestations. I choose to view my challenges and lessons through a spiritual lens, welcoming the wisdom they have for me as I move forward. I honestly review my incomplete’s and decide to complete them in service to a more alive, rich and prosperous new year. I am grateful. I close this year in gratitude and intentionally embody all that I want to be in 2017.

This affirmation and the inventory are here in…

>>>>  YOUR BEST YEAR YET

2017gift
In it you will get:

* My “2016 TOP 16 Success Formula”
* A 2016 “End of Year Inventory”
* What you need to do ensure greater prosperity in 2017
  * 3 essentials to get clear on to rock out the new year

In service and humble gratitude…

With all that I am,

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Kendra E Thornbury, MA
ps. Get your lessons resolved and move on!
–> GO HERE FOR YOUR BEST YEAR YET

 

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